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Little Gems of Sobriety

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Friday night the last thing I wanted to do was go to a meeting.  I had things going on every night this week, so all I No Winewanted to do was cocoon myself in my bed and read in the peace and quiet of my own home.  I forced myself to go out though.  Before the meeting I got some coffee and was on the street that I used to go to full of bars.  I walked by the bars and I heard laughter.  This was not just benign laughter – this was the kind of laughter that mocked jeeringly.  It seemed to be saying to me in a sing-song voice: “We get to have fu-u-un and youuuuuu doooon’t.”

It wasn’t even the wine/alcohol that I missed.  It was the reckless abandon of people having fun, the adrenaline, the excitement and unpredictability of not knowing how the night was going to end up, the talking to and entertaining strangers and – yes – the danger.

So that was my second sad moment.  I felt like a little kid with her nose pressed to the glass seeing a whole crowd of people without a care and full of merriment and I thought, “I want to be go play with those kids!”  Again, I restricted and continued on my path of doing what I did not want to do.

I went to the meeting. At the end of the meeting I looked down at this cute little dog.  I heard the owner say my name.  I looked up and it was a dear old friend of mine.  She quit drinking a couple of years ago, and we had a falling out because of one of my drunken drama episodes.  It was sad, because we were of like minds and were great supports for each other.  She was on her sober path and I wasn’t there yet, so naturally we went our separate ways.

It is absolutely a universal law that like attracts like.  Is it a surprise I ran into her again?  Not at all.  We’re at the same frequency now.  Of  course we’re going to run into each other again.  Water seeks its own level.  Always. 

So I would say I get at least one or more little surprises or coincidences or gifts like that every day I’ve been sober.  Granted, it has only been 7 days.  But imagine what is awaiting for me 3 months from now?  6 months from now?  One year?  Whatever we might imagine for ourselves pales in comparison to what the Universe has in mind.  I feel like God is saying to me:

“Just chillax and let go.  I got your back.”

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