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April Fool’s Skool

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My second favourite day of the year is coming up, the first being the one that involves gluttony and tryptophan.  The one and only April Fool’s Day is coming up tomorrow and in order to fully appreciate this holiday in all it’s glory, one needs to prepare.  Not everyone can pull this day off.  The handful of people who do pay attention to it might pat themselves on the back for pulling down someone’s pants, or slapping a ‘Kick Me’ sign on someone. But this is child’s play.

The sky is the limit with this day – you have a good 16 hours to get away with things you should never get away with. You can discover people’s weaknesses, find out how someone might respond in a crisis (albeit a fake one, but they don’t know that yet), or take someone to the depths of despair only to swoop in and dissipate their tears of woe with three simple words: “April Fool’s Day!” and for a brief moment, you are a hero for telling your boyfriend after a very long two-hour dinner, “….Ok, maybe I’m not pregnant. April Fool’s Day!” 

In my days of April Fool’s past, there have been long and dramatic pregnancy stories that I have shared with my mother, brother and college roommate.  Since I was the only one in on the joke, I got precious information from each one of these missions. As I acted out these scenarios with loved ones, I got to flirt with a reality without really having to commit to it. I could find out that my mother would be distraught and full of judgment if I ever got pregnant out of wedlock and that it’s not something that she would be able to fake.  Or when I was 6 years old and hid my parents underwear on April Fool’s Day, I learned that those people I call mom and dad, short on undergarments would choose to wash the same pair rather than even think to accuse their 6-year old of stealing all of those Fruit of the Looms.

To be fully educated in the Skool of April Fool’s, one must needs be covert, unflinching, committed to the character and unapologetic when your victim discovers they’ve been had or have had vital psychological weaknesses revealed.  Now this may all sound a bit sadistic, but ’tis not. It must be done in the right way without truly hurting any one.  The underlying goal is to make them believe a particular reality or situation that either would be drastically terrible or would make them over the moon happy with joy, then jolt them back to reality with a loud thump and the words, “April Fool’s Day!”

This is the day for raconteurs and court jesters, for comedians and actors. May you share all of your ideas here and execute them flawlessly so no one around you realizes they are in a play of your choosing.  At the end of the day, all the world’s a stage, but April Fool’s Day is an opportunity to have a play within the play; it’s the day that requires we wake ourselves and everyone else up. Jolt your loved ones out of their routine and deeply ingrained patterns of thinking tomorrow. Make them laugh and remind them why they’re alive.

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