The Dawning of a New Year

The whole idea of a “resolution” has a negative association in my humble opinion.  When we promise to do or not to do something we’re immediately putting ourselves in debt and in a state of pressure or expectation.  It’s something we haven’t done yet and need to check off the list or accomplish.  Any kind of a resolution or an “I promise to…” brings back traumatic memories of writing out that sentence on the blackboard 100 times for bad behavior.  Thanks but no thanks.  I’ve never gotten the whole New Year’s resolution thing and for good reason:  most of them fail.  We set out with the best of intentions but almost every year we look back on that point we lost steam and said, ‘screw it.’

 This tells me one of two things:  either there is something inherently foolish about setting new year’s promises to ourselves or we are going about them all wrong.  I’d say it’s a little bit of both.  Let’s take the “I resolve to lose weight” one.  No wonder this bright idea falls flat on its face before half the year is out as the gym memberships swell in January and then sit collecting dust.  It reeks of deprivation “Oh God, I have to go to the gym now.” so very difficult to actually get excited about such a resolution.  Come now, can anyone get excited about going to the gym?  As Joan Rivers once cracked, “As soon as I see someone smiling and having a good time while they’re running I’ll start.” 

No, there will be no excitement around the gym but we shore can get excited about makin’ that optimistic list of resolutions.  That’s the easy part. What about if we put a positive slant on that goal to make it more palatable?  What if we promise to treat ourselves to something frivolous if we meet our January month exercise goal and so forth?  What if we take our mind off the huge broad resolution and break it down into an action plan and strategy?  Forget the sweeping promises that make us feel good while we are writing them only to peter out in discouragement once the work comes.  Let’s be realistic and kind with ourselves.  Instead of promising to lose weight, reimagine yourself as a healthy vibrant, active person and then start becoming it.  Then take barely noticeable, incrementally small steps in that direction.  If you haven’t worked out since 1989 and your muscles know no place but Atrophyland, take a brisk walk every morning and insist on kicking it up one little notch every week so that maybe by February you’re running a 1/2 mile every day.  Who knows what is possible when you start changing the idea of yourself little by little.

Instead of a list of New Year’s Resolutions I have picked out one word to use as a compass and theme for the year.  Of course I have intentions, goals and dreams for the year, but they will all somehow point back to this word.  Once you have your list of intentions you can work backwards and create small steps each week so that you can feel tangible success that is sustainable.   My word for the year is “Niche” and the supporting cast members are “Freedom”, “Empowerment” and “Joy Explosion.” 

For those of you still not giving up on the resolution madness, this article from WSJ gives some additional ideas for knocking it out of the park.

7 Reasons to Be Grateful This Month

Every time I hear Israel Kamakawiwo ‘Ole’s rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow I get cosmic goosebumps.  He has one of those voices.  Andrea Bocelli does the same thing to me.  Beautiful voices abound, but there are those rare ones that pierce our soul with that “je ne sais crois” and we can’t explain why.  I want to share one of my favourite songs (and versions) of all time below.  I could never get tired of listening to it.  In fact, it really makes me want to get my hands on a ukulele so I can learn.  Ukulele is to Israel as Banjo is to…… you guessed it, Kermit the Frog.  The two go together like salt and pepper, Laverne & Shirley, the yin & yang.  I guarantee you if you’re ever feeling stressed or your priorities feel warped or out of proportion just listen to this song and it will instantly push the reset button.  I promise.

Today a dear girlfriend got me an astrological progressions reading as a Christmas gift from a woman in Dana Point, CA named Marcelina.  It was amazing – like lifting the film off of Confusionville and seeing things clearly.  What is amazing to me is that we often have the intuition about things but don’t trust ourselves.  It may take someone to point things out or echo our barely audible intuition for us to have the courage to move in that direction.  For example, I have had a vague uneasiness around an issue of health recently – knowing something was wrong but not knowing exactly what.  I have up until now chosen to ignore it and rationalized to myself that since I was not drinking everything was fine.  She encouraged me to see a doctor as soon as possible and that everything perhaps was not fine and it’s better to address sooner rather than later.  For that, I am grateful.

She also suggested I keep the road clear and free of dating right now and to focus on healing which is perfect because I have zero inclination in that direction now.  First things first, I’ve been telling myself  “Don’t ask me to walk yet when I’m just learning to crawl! Let me learn to walk and then maybe we’ll revisit that.” I have also been hazy in terms of exactly the type of business I would like to start although I have subtle pushes here and there in a certain direction.  She basically slammed the gavel down, gave me some ideas of the right direction and was pushing me towards center stage into an area I didn’t think about, but know would be invaluable for what I’m trying to create.  Health warnings, no boys and pouring water on the right seeds planted in business.  The perfect Rx for the end of 2009.  My intuition also tells me that 2010 is going to be a wildly transformative year for many people.  In order to bring something new in, we have to release the old.  In order to truly release the old, especially if its presence has outlasted its purpose, we need to thank it in order to let go, not staying unintentionally attached to is by disliking it or having negative feelings.  So to release 2009 and herald in the dawn of 2010 I would like to list 7 things I am grateful for in 2009.

• The changing of the guard and entering a time where our leadership emphasizes empathy and cooperation.
• The courage to embrace crisis and transform it into opportunity along with a shifting of priorities away from money and towards the spiritual.
• For all those who are fighting the tyranny of addiction and the belief that the tyrants can be banished through utter belief, perserverance and self-love.
• For the adaptability to ride the waves of transition and gracefully take whatever comes in life, whether it seems to us like sun or rain.
• For the ability to express ourselves freely without restriction.
• For our families – both our biological families who we are born into, and our spiritual families who we find.
• For the ocean and sky and grass – may they always rejuvenate through our care and never be permanently tainted.

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What are you grateful for this month?